While studying Buddhism, I often ponder on “Who am I”.

Sheng-yen Lu is only a name, a symbol just like A, B, C, D. Living Buddha Lian-Sheng is only a title like E, F, G, H. I examine my face closely but it was nothing other than an ever-changing visage. And my body is just a layer of skin.

My Guru preached a great deal on the subject of “Four Elements”:

• Earth – hard and soft characteristics
• Water – assimilation characteristics
• Fire – cold and hot characteristics
• Wind – movement characteristics

Based on the above teaching: bone is earth, blood is water, body temperature is fire, and breathing is wind

So I ask myself again, “Who am I exactly?”

When I study mediation, I raise the same question. Among the "Four Elements” (earth, water, fire and wind), wind is the easiest and most obvious element to pursue. I start with observing my own breathing. The idea is quite simple: Life is between inhaling and exhaling. If breathing could not continue, so would our lives. Life ceases; Sheng-yen Lu ends. Living Buddha Lian-sheng ends. Four Elements will naturally dissipate, and the physical body will be corrupted.

Who am I?

Who is “Who”?

Guru elucidated that the ultimate goal of meditative observation is not merely to perceive the “Four Elements", but the detailed observation of spirit. A tough task! Observing the spirit and mind requires more effort. Is spirit ‘me’? Is thought ‘me’? I set forth on my search once again on the thought.

1. Thought of Body: Concentrate, particularly on the process of inhaling and exhaling and the phenomenon of appearance and disappearance.

2. Thought of Emotions: Concentrate, particularly on the starting and ending of various emotions. Recognize happiness, unhappiness, and unhappiness but not real unhappiness.

3. Thought of Mind: Recognize the rising and falling of myriad of thoughts, determining the real thought.

4. Thought of Dharma: Clearly understand the formation and destruction of all activities of dharma in our daily lives. Concentrate and recognize the Truth of Dharma but do not attach to it.

My conclusion is: body is illusory, emotion is illusory, and so is the mind and dharma. None of them constitute true entity.

Who am I?

Who is “Who”?

In the "Four Concentrative Minds Sutra", Lord Buddha teaches:

"Reverends, there is a path which leads laymen to purification, overcome anguish and alleviate grief. Lead them to practice the right actions and attain nirvana. The path is called ‘Four Concentrative Minds’”.

Lord Buddha further teaches:

"Practice diligently and observe discretely on the thought of body, emotion, mind and dharma. Licentious desire and suffering will then be eliminated."

When I observe all these, I understood: my body is not mine, environment is impermanent, the existence of emotion is sad, and everything is empty. My wisdom gradually matures. I no longer attach to the physical “me” or the spiritual “me”, which is the realization of Nirvana, Great Bliss, Illumination, and Emptiness.

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